Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
