Pappa wants mamma naked
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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