do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
