How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I came so hard my ears popped.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
