He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
