i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
