i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
