My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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