I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i out mim tonsoeep
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
