Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
