We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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