We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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