She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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