What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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