Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
