he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
