GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's shark week go big or go home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
