We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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