I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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