I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
