You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
