just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
