covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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