i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
