Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
