we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sober January is a disaster.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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