No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
