Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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