I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
