I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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