I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
