Cold hands, warm shart.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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