There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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