I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
