really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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