he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
MIDGETS
????
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
