But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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