Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
