It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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