You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
