ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
