i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
