i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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