Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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