The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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