You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
