on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
