so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
