He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
