i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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